


Clandestine

by Misdraevus



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Crime AU, F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-04
Updated: 2013-11-04
Packaged: 2017-12-31 12:35:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1031761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misdraevus/pseuds/Misdraevus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The English Bank is robbed by Dave Strider and his loyal crew. But why was this bank in particular robbed? There is a lot more motive hidden behind the scenes, and the police are always one step behind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Monday: The Heist

Security. The degree of resistance to, or protection from, harm. It applies to any vulnerable and valuable asset, such as a person, dwelling, community, nation, or organization.

Infiltration, the act of entering a physical location and/or organization secretly to cause harm or exploitation.

Dave Strider was a master of the latter. He and his crew of misfits had performed robberies, burglaries and heists all over the country. They were so methodical, precise, and most of all, professional. He of course was their leader, the tactician. He knew at exactly where and when someone should be and hopefully what they should do. He knew how to exploit any weakness, no matter how slight or seemingly insignificant. But most of all, his most important skills were leading and improvisation. Act like you have the upper hand, even if you don't.

But above all, find someone, or some people, you can trust, and make sure they trust you. He was proud of his team, consisting of a sibling pair and his own sister and older brother. Blood runs thicker than water, after all.

If Dave was the tactician, then Rose was the saboteur.

Dave knew the physical weaknesses of buildings and security measures. Rose knew the physical and mental weaknesses of people. And it was damn scary to see her in action. Nigh unremorseful with an unbreakable and flexible facade. If she wanted to be someone else for a minute, an hour, a day, a week, she could. She knew the pressure points of the psyche and the body. If she wanted to, she could completely break someone. Oh, and she can mimic voices, a skill she picked up from acting classes. Outside of a job, she was cool and collected, and only very snarky. She was frivolous in her own way.

But there are limits to what two people can do. Lucky for him, he had enlisted the help of his best friend and his sister: John and Jade Egbert (Though Jade uses the name Harley because of family reasons).

If that little buck-teethed paranormal enthusiast was put on a desert island and given nothing but a bottle of water and a packet of sherbet lemons he'd still find a way to not only escape, but with a duffal bag full of AK-47s to boot. Dave had admit it, but if his life was a movie, John would be the heavy-set Russian Ex-Mafia gang member who could gather enough weapons to raid the White House and cook up enough explosives to make kamikaze bomber shit their pants. Also, not only could he just get this stuff, he knew how to use every single one of them. When you're being held hostage by this nerd, just know that if you get on his bad side, the last two things you'll see are his buck-toothed smile and the barrel of a gun.

Jade, however, in Dave's brother's (let's call him "bro") words, was "A fucking ninja". While she did have the technological know-how that we'll get to in a second, she was also a practiced thief. She was the acrobat who would dodge lasers and kung-fu guards to death. Silent as the grave. Lockpicking, sleight of hand, spiking drinks, alarms and traps, all that good stuff. Her proficiency with computers was ridiculous to see in action. She once stole Dave's phone and did many things to it, things he'll never speak of. Her best creation was something she worked on with John: An automatic turret. If things go south, they just drop that badboy and it's like an extra gun that never needs reloading. Although she winces every time it gets hit.

Currently, the four of them had just been dropped outside the English bank that was in America. It made no sense, but there was money inside. It was very regal-looking, roman-style pillars and a lot of steps just to get to the front door.

Bro leaned out the window of their black van.

"Gonna stash the equipment in the dumpster in the alley and wait outside PBJ's. You take care of yourself lil' man." he says to Dave, and reverses into the alley as the four walk inconspicuously inside, looking the part of course. Dave was wearing a midnight-black suit with a red tie, although he still wore his shades and his hair styled, making him look like a rich kid with friends. John was wearing a blue suit, and that, coupled with his glasses, made him look like some kind of a lucky IT programmer. Jade was wearing a black and green backless dress and a pearl necklace, her large round glasses looking a little odd, but not bad. Rose wasn't wearing a dress, she was wearing a stylish pin-striped black suit with plenty of flares. She never liked dresses, but Dave never questioned it.

As soon as they walked in they knew what they needed to do; they had cased it a few days ago in the same get-up, and Dave had written up a plan.

"If or when things go wrong, can we wear the masks?" John asks.

"Masks? John this isn't a video game man, masks don't do shit if they've got footage of us already."

"Well I know, but still, it'd be cool!"

"I'll erase the footage." says Jade, lightly elbowing John in the ribs.

"When do we start?" asks Rose, ignoring the two.

"Right now sis, you all know what to do?" Three nods. "Right, let's get this party started." he says with a light smile. They spit up and he starts his inspection. He wanders around the place, actually taking mental notes just in case of new guard placements.

* * *

Rose immediately headed upstairs. From the case a few days ago, she knew a bit of the staff. She stuck her hand in her pocket to make sure her trusty "chloroformochief" was still there, and perhaps a little out of comfort. She managed to find a young woman carrying a mug of coffee who had just wandered out of the staff kitchen.

"Excuse me, I'm new here. I was told to see Jerry...?" asked Rose. Her intern persona was one of her favourites.

"Oh, I didn't know. Yeah, I'll show you his office." she says, looking down at her mug quickly and then lead Rose down the corridors.

Rose followed her until she was certain they were alone and delivered a kick to the back of her knee, making the woman throw the drink forward and fall to her knees. Before she could yell anything, Rose began smothering her with the rag. She went out like a light. Rose moved her limbs to make it look like a fall, taking off one of her shoes and leaving it by her leg. She moved a photocopier that happened to be there at the right place and time, unplugging it and throwing the cable behind the unconscious woman.

* * *

John and Jade went straight to the bathrooms, waiting until they were clear, then hopped out the windows into the alley.

"This dress was not made for this!" complained Jade as she gathered her bags.

"Did you bring your gear?" asked John.

"Yep, all here! I'm not sure I could do all this wearing a dress, John." John only grinned as he checked the window once more and chucked his bags through. He helped Jade push the largest bag inside and climbed back in the men's bathroom.

They put their things inside a stall and locked it. John put a communicator on his cuff and a bullet-proof vest under his top. He stuffed some plastic gloves in his pocket and climbed out of the stall. No point unlocking it.

Jade however, was taking off her dress and jewelry. Difficult to do in a bathroom stall packed with bags, but Jade was Jade. She began putting on her leathers, gloves and all. Lastly, she kicked off her heels and replaced them with dark trainers. Unlike John, her communicator was an earpiece. She didn't need to be socially stealthy.

She put a knife in her boot and a pistol on her belt. She tried not to use them, but better have it and not need it than need it and not have it. She shrugged on a backpack that looked huge on her and sat on the toilet lid, waiting for Dave's signal.

John walked briskly out of the bathroom and up the stairs off the lobby to the second floor. He just came in view of the security room when he saw the guard who perked up, looking at something. Rose came barreling down the hall.

"There's been an accident!" she cried, and the guard followed her, confused. John followed too, playing the part of shocked bystander. Rose led them to the woman, and the guard crouched down at her side.

"It's okay, I'm a doctor!" says John with false worry in his voice, and trots over to her. Rose steps back.

The guard eyes him up and down, and believes him. He has the look of one after all. He starts listening for her breathing, checks her pulse, while Rose chloroforms the guard.

"Stop chloroforming people!" chuckles John.

"If you insist." she says with a wry smile. She then barges into the manager's office screaming: "Help! Someone's been hurt!".

The manager scrambles out of his office to the hallway. As soon as he runs past her, she pinches his neck and he collapses. John gives her a look as she pats him down for his keycard.

* * *

After a few minutes, Dave heads to the bathroom. As anticipated, a door is locked. He checks under the door for feet, just in case. Seeing noone, he goes into the next stall and climbs in over the divisor. He puts on his vest, communicator, and some plastic hand-ties onto his belt. He rubs his hands together before opening the bag that had many weapons.

"Dave, this is John, we've got the card."

He talks into the communicator: "Got it, get back here man."

Dave hears John come into the bathroom, so he unlocks the stall.

"I love your picks this time, John, You've really outdone yourself." He says, sliding the bag over to him.

"Heh, thanks."

"No, I swear I'm gonna buy you a fucking entertainment system or some shit after this. No, screw that, a pool. And a ferrari. A blue one."

John laughs as they check themselves.

"Are you ready?"

"Fuck yeah. I'm gonna bust open the door." says Dave. And he does.

He charges into the lobby, John close behind.

"EVERYONE ON THE GROUND!" he yells, brandishing his machine gun.

* * *

Jade hears Dave shout and hurries out of the bathroom, running up the stairs to security, waving to Rose as she runs past her, giving her the card. She gets to the room and opens it with the card, and charging in. She never wanted to be the first one to start shooting, but the two guards reached for their guns and she reacted. She shot them both, hoping that it wasn't fatal, and sits down at the console and gets to work. She stops the cameras and begins deleting the entire day's footage.

* * *

Rose gets down the stairs and hurries past Dave and John's ruckus to the men's bathroom. She puts on the bullet-proof vest and communicator. She takes a machine pistol and a large, heavy box, that heavy she can't run so much. She kicks open the door into the lobby and turns left, to a room holding a closed barrier and some metal detectors.

A few civilians hid here too, to which she pointed the gun in their direction and said: "Down." Her voice was not harsh nor severe, it was rather serene. They fell like a sack of bricks and she carried on through the metal detectors. The alarms went off, alerting the few guards who had yet to show themselves and were most likely calling the police.

She sets the box down by the barrier and opens it to reveal two automatic saws. She puts the gun on her belt and starts cutting a hole in the barrier.

Jade soon comes over with a duffal bag and drops it by her side, beginning to help Rose with the barrier.

* * *

Dave and John are keeping an eye on the hostages when Dave says "Shit".

"What?"

"Cops are here already."

Sure enough, a swat team charges in the front door yelling legalities and Dave starts shooting. Once the first team is down, Dave runs over to the front desk, thankfully a large semi-circular desk-king about half a foot thick. John does the cheesy "I'm watching you" with his fingers to the hostages and scampers over to Dave just as they start pouring in again.

After that wave, Dave hears Rose yelling, he nods to John and they run over to the girls, a hole cut in the barrier. Jade leads with the bag and they sprint down the hallways.

 


	2. Run Away

It didn't matter if they were running for their lives, Dave still hated running. No wait, he did, he loved running, he was strategically at the back godammit! He looked ahead to see Jade almost miss a turn however.

"Left!" he cried, and Jade gracefully skidded and turned on her heel. They entered a large room containing the unmissable round vault bulkhead, as well as a couple of offices above it, accessible by stairs. Jade flew up them, the others still behind, although Rose was almost the victim of a banker thrown out of said office. He almost peed himself before Dave threw his thumb behind him. The suit nearly tripped down the stairs as he ran from them. Jade immediately set to work unzipping the bags and pulling out a homebrew bomb and a couple of sledgehammers. Rose took the hammers into the space between the two offices while Jade lit the fuse, getting out, shutting the door, and giving a thumbs-up to Dave.

They all got ready for the SWAT teams that would charge down the hallway. They came, determined, and the building was filled with the voices of their guns. The strong, careful semi-automatic shot's of John's rifle, the loud, angry roar of Dave's assault rifle, the rushed chirrup of Rose's machine-pistols, and Jade's potshots from her pistol. The chorus of the gunfire halted with the explosion in the office, prompting the girls to run inside, Jade with her empty bag on her shoulder, Rose dragging the hammers behind her. The boys defended their spot, and soon Bro's voice was heard on Dave's radio.

"Looks like they've bugged out for a bit lil' man, go on and get your stuff done. Be quick, won't be long until they come back." Dave grunted in reply, and they entered the office and hopped down the newly-blasted hole into the vault, where Rose and Jade where stuffing money into their bags. Anxious to get it done quickly, Dave started shoving wads of bills inside as fast as he could, John awkwardly trying to help. Soon, the bags were filled and Jade opened the vault from the inside. It looked strange though, the small, agile girl pulling the huge wheel on the bulkhead. Nonetheless, when it was open, Jade took one of the hammers off Rose. Dave led them outside, guns blazing to beat back the teams as they made their way up to the main building again.

"It's up this way, come on!" cries Jade, running past Dave once more, leading them up some stairs to the main offices once more. Was she on Red Bull or something? Dave's musings were cut short by her and Rose smashing the weak spot of the smooth wall with their sledgehammers. Once the wall had a hole big enough to fit a basketballer and given Rose a huge grin from her allowance of destruction, they charged through, leading into an underground carpark. They descended a level to find their black van waiting for them. Bro got out and opened the back doors as they came into his view and helped them throw everything inside, then got back behind the wheel with Dave as the others got in the back and closed the door.

Jade was glued to the back window as they drove off, hoping they hadn't been followed. When they made it outside, Bro joined the confused queue of traffic outside the bank, which, after an unbearable half-hour, they let traffic through again, and they were soon on the way back, listening to Bro's rap music on the stereo.

Dave exhaled a relieved breath, John had his arms in the air, Jade cheered, and Rose's face held a sly smile.

"Oh my god, I can't believe we just did that!" cried John. "Not to mention no bystanders got hurt either, that was amazing!" Jade squeaked something, and Rose added:

"Unless you count those people I made fall over." she said with a smart grin. Dave "tch"'d.

"Yeah, this was perfect guys. Not everything's gonna be as lucky as today, but man, we're getting shit  _done_."


End file.
